Entities mentioned:
- Donald Trump: Power, Control, Influence
- The Onion: Curiosity, Enthusiasm, Recognition
- Stephen Miller: Power, Control, Influence
- National Guard: Duty, Security, Control
- UFC: Competitive spirit, Recognition, Ambition

Article Assessment:
Credibility Score: 30/100
Bias Rating: 35/100 (Lean Left)
Sentiment Score: 45/100
Authoritarianism Risk: 20/100 (Strongly Democratic)

Bias Analysis:
The article leans left, evident in its mockery of Trump and conservative figures like Stephen Miller. While fact-checking is attempted, the satirical nature and clear anti-Trump stance indicate a left-leaning bias.

Key metric: Public Perception of Crime and Safety

As a social scientist, I analyze that this satirical article uses humor to critique and fact-check President Trump's claims about crime rates. The piece highlights the exaggeration and inaccuracy in Trump's statements, potentially influencing public perception of crime statistics and the credibility of presidential communications. The satire may lead readers to question official statements and seek out verified crime data, potentially improving public understanding of actual crime trends. However, the humorous approach might also trivialize serious issues related to crime and public safety.